It was a two bedroom, one bath apartment in the city. I hadn’t seen Brandon it two years, not counting Christmas. I was in town because I wanted for him to meet my girlfriend Lacy. Brandon’s roommate let us in, a big guy named Charles, and we sat in the living room waiting for him to come out of the shower.
Brandon came out wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt that said, “Define Girlfriend”. His hair was still wet from the shower, and it looked as if he had gain some weight since he moved here. We stood up when he walked in.
“Brandon this is my girlfriend Lacy, Lace this is Brandon my brother.” I said.
“Hi, it is nice to meet you.” Brandon said while shaking her hand.
“I’m glad to meet you too.” Lacy said while shaking back.
“So, what do you have plan for us this evening?” I asked.
“There is a little pub just a little ways up the road. I thought we would go there and have some drinks.” Brandon answered.
“Sounds good, should we take your car or ours?” I asked.
“Since I know where we are going, I think I should drive.” he replied.
“Let’s go then.” Lacy said.
The pub was a little English one called Sherlock’s. It had a giant British flag hanging on one of the walls. The music was a live band singing cover songs of any poplar Indie rock they could think of. Low lighting for what they would say is for atmosphere, but I think it is just to cover up the stains and cracks on the wall.
They sat in an area of couches. There is nothing classy about it, but there was noting classy about any of the places I drink.
Brandon ordered two Dos XX’s for us and a Rum and Coke for Lacey. He then started to ask her questions, your basic questions. Where did we meet? How long have we known each other? Why would you be interested in a idiot like my brother? You know, basic stuff.
“I need to use the little girl’s room.” Lacey said. She got up and I watched her go. When I turned back I saw Brandon ordering another round from the cocktail waitress. The song being played was a hard rock version of a Scottish folk song. I was thinking about what people from Scotland would think of it when Brandon asked me something.
“Huh? I’m sorry I didn’t hear you.” I said.
“I said, how is school going?” Brandon asked.
“Well, you know…”
“No. I don’t know. That is why I asked.”
“I’m not going to go back. In fact I’m not finishing this semester. I dropped out, is what I’m saying” I said reluctantly.
He just sat there looking at me thoughtfully. I tried to ignore it. I tried to find other things in the pub to look at. After what was an eternity, or about 15 seconds which ever comes first, I turn back to face him.
“What?” I said. He just shrugged in response. “Stop looking at me like that.”
“How should I look at you?” He asked.
“Just… not like that.”
“Are you upset with me, or yourself?”
“Shut up!”
“Okay…” he held his hands up. “I ordered another round, so finish up that beer.”
Lacey return and the night went on like before. Only I started to drink a lot more than I had been. And as the night wore on things got a little… blurry.
I remember the first couple of shots, but not any of the ones after that. I also remember Lacey saying something about slowing down, but I can’t completely recall the details.
We headed out to the car, Brandon asking me if I was okay. Lacey said that we should get a cab. I told them that it was stupid idea, I was fine, and there was no way I would leave my car here overnight. After much debating I relented to letting Brandon drive us. He had said that while he was drunk he was at least better off than me.
I climbed into the back seat, Lacey took the passenger, where I started to drift in and out of consciences. Lacey was directing Brandon where to go. They came up to where you change highways. It was one of those curvy off and on ramps. They came up to the yield sign, I knew it well. There were many a times where I almost had a…
It felt like a house had fell on him.
The car was almost out of sight… Things could have been different that night. Brandon said. Sean knew that he was right, he was the one that should have been driving that night.
Actually none of us should have been driving that night. Sean knew that was right also. If he hadn’t of been so angry at Brandon that night, he would have been more open to reason. Instead he got mad because Brandon just stated the obvious.
Now, what are you going to do about this situation? What can I do? It’s over, I know that.
Do you think I would be here if it is over? You… You are just a figment of my imagination.
That’s right! So do you believe I would be here if you didn’t truly believe that it wasn’t over? You are right Brandon. Oh no, what have I done?
Nothing that you can’t fix. So Go! Be the man I always knew you could be and go fix it!
I took off running to my car, I stopped turn back to the image of Brandon in my head and said out loud. “I am sorry you died in that car wreak that night.”
I know, but we all have to go sometime.
“I’ll never forgive myself.” I told him.
So don’t let this me one more thing you won’t forgive.
I jumped into my car a went after her. I drove really fast and caught up to her quickly. I flashed my lights and she pulled over. When I got up to her car she was getting out.
Lacey looked to me the most beautiful woman in the world. Even though she had been crying and her eyes were puffy and red.
“I’m sorry, baby.” I told her.
“Why?” she said.
“I was running away, like I always do when things get tough.” I noticed my voice started to crack. “I never finish anything, but I won’t let it happen to you.”
“You freak out when I told you. How will I know you won’t just change your mind again?”
“I didn’t know what to do. I mean you just kind of threw the I’m pregnant thing at me out of nowhere. But I promise, I will not freak out on you again. Well, at least not on propose.”
She smiled, then hung him as hard as she could.
“So,” she said, “What do we do now?”
“I don’t know,” I replied, “ but I won’t give up. Not on this.”
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